Homeschooling

I. What is homeschooling?

a. Definition

Homeschooling is a viable education alternative to institutional schooling. In compliance with state laws regarding this type of education, children learn under the general supervision of their parents. Parents and children, conferring with each other, assume control of the content of their learning. It is a complete substitute for institutional schooling.

There are other forms of alternative education that, though they may be called "homeschooling," fall directly under the supervision of school personnel. Examples are independent study programs (ISPs) or some kinds of "visiting teacher" programs for the infirm In contrast, while these plans may be called "homeschooling" or "home education" and involve the student learning at home, neither the students nor the parents have much control over the content. "Home Study" is often confused with homeschooling. Such programs are offered by school districts so that children confined to home or hospital because of illness or injury may keep up with their classmates in school.

b. Who homeschools?

People from all walks of life homeschool: homeschoolers live in large cities, small towns, on farms and ranches, in mountains and deserts; homeschoolers live in families where mom stays home and dad works or vice versa; homeschoolers are blended families, two-parent families, single parent families, gay and lesbian families, families that work from their homes or where both parents work and a grandparent takes an active role in the education process; families that are religious and those that aren't; families who have been in their country for generations and those that have recently immigrated; people who enjoy good health and those who live with disabilities. We are homeschoolers. We are your neighbors.

c. Why do families homeschool?

Ask ten homeschooling families why they homeschool and you might get a variety of reasons. Usually it is the positive ways homeschooling benefits their families that keep them going, however. Here are just a few of those benefits:

• Continuing the parent-child relationship that has developed since birth. There is no reason to end this just because the child has reached compulsory school age.
• Better supervision over the content of their children's education. School curricula can be questionable.
• Better ability to meet the special needs or learning style of their children.
• Concerns about the safety of local schools or the long bus rides to the schools.
• The wonderful flexibility! Homeschooling allows for more frequent travel and for long periods of time.

d. How many people homeschool?

Because not all homeschoolers are required to register, it is nearly impossible to get an accurate count. About 350,000 children were being homeschooled. That estimate is now closer to 2,000,000. That's roughly 2% of the school-aged population of our country! A dramatic increase in applications from homeschoolers are being reported by colleges and universities as well. There is no question; homeschooling is growing.

II. Legal Options

a. Is it legal?

Homeschooling is legal in all fifty US states. The laws vary from state to state. It is also legal or becoming more acceptible in all provinces in Canada, Australia and New Zealand, in the United Kingdom, Puerto Rico, Japan, South Africa and other countries as well. In some countries it is practiced illegally as homeschoolers work to change the laws.

b. What is the law where I live?

In some places there are requirements that you inform the government of your intent to homeschool in order to avoid truancy questions. In some areas you may declare your home a private school and thereby be exempt from government interference. In other areas, you must be supervised by a cover school.

You only need to concern yourself with the law if your child falls within the age range for compulsory education in your state. You may certainly live the homeschooling lifestyle if your child is younger or older, you just can ignore any registration or reporting requirements.

c. Do I have to have a degree or special training?

Not usually, but credentialed teachers have it easy in some places: they may tutor their own children without any supervision in areas that require such oversight of non-credentialed homeschool parents. Most states don't even require a parent to have a high school diploma. One state requires a "How to Homeschool" course. Requirements vary from state to state.

d. What's the best source of legal information?

The people in your area. Local homeschooling groups have experienced homeschoolers who will prove to be the best sources of information on how to meet the legal requirements in your school district. Be sure you have an experienced, reliable source for information. And remember: these people are not lawyers! It is up to you to read the law for yourself. After all, you are the one ultimately responsible for compliance.

III. Actually Homeschooling

a. What approach should I take?

Nobody can make this decision for you. It is up to your family how to best approach the education of your children. That's the good news. More good news: whatever approach you do choose to take, you will succeed. Your children will learn far faster and more thoroughly because of the personal attention and personalized education than they would have in school. While schools have to wait for new standards to be developed over several years, you have the luxury and the privilege of altering you approach as soon as you see it isn't working as you would like. Instead, focus on helping your children grow and flourish according to your own family's loving values of what makes a successful human being.

b. What approaches are there?

• Structured - Sometimes called school at home, it can also include those who just like to have a very organized, goal-oriented day: A Day-Timer® School!
• Interest-initiated - Some call this approach "unschooling." These families learn from real life experiences. Kids pursue their interests with encouragement and resources provided by their parents. These families might have a monthly calendar with a few key events noted on it.
• Learning-style - Learning materials and activities are chosen based on how their children learn best.
• Philosophical - These homeschools are structured around educational philosophies studied by the parents.
• Accelerated - Resentful of being called "pushy," these parents feel their gifted children have special talents that deserve intense, daily focus. The children may also have determined goals to reach.
• Accommodating - Some families need to structure their homeschooling around the special needs of one or more people in their family.
• Unit-based - AKA the unit study approach, all learning is focused on a particular topic for for a period of time, each child learning at their own level of understanding.
• Community - Community activities: religious involvement, youth organizations, volunteer work: group situations that they or others like them have organized. Families spend a significant portion of their time learning from involvement outside the home.
• Eclectic - Any combination of the above! Families pick and choose from all the wonderful options available to them and alter their course as needed.

c. What do we need to buy?

Nothing really. Maybe a little time. Go through what you already have. Chances are these materials can be used to help with your homeschooling. Even the pet dog can be a lesson in the life cycle of fleas! Good books can be reread. Toys can be used to explain physics. Games provide delightful practice in a variety of areas. Ask relatives and friends for attic treasures such as microscopes and telescopes or costumes for make-believe. Learning materials will trickle in. It's amazing how you will begin to look at even the simplist household item in a new light when you ask yourself, "What can my child learn from this?"

Borrow. Your local library is your best source and it's FREE! Fellow homeschoolers who have outgrown materials are another great resource. You might find some real treasures in eBay, Goodwill or thrift stores and garage sales. There's a great geometry lesson in building some nice, solidly square, bookcases to hold all this stuff.

If someone says they need to "approve your curriculum," find out what that really means. It might not mean which text books are you using. It might mean what skills or concepts do you hope your children will learn this year and how do you plan to meet those objectives. Often you can just hand them your state's "scope and sequence" for the ages of your children, telling them you plan to use materials from everyday life to get these concepts across based on the XYZ philosophy of education.

d. Where can I get ideas?

• Organizations - many national, state and local homeschooling organizations have publications and conferences full of great ideas. Enrichment programs such as Scouts, Campfire and 4-H have books and materials you can purchase even if you aren't members. Local museums and industries have learning opportunities for children.
• Publications - while homeschooling publications will help you with specific homeschooling concerns, don't forget to check those general parenting and hobbiest publications for great project and learning ideas.
• Web Sites - just type any topic in the search field, and voila! You have loads of suggestions on things to do! It almost seems as though there is no end to the educational resources available online. You want a reasonable amount? Try our search engine. Select this site or the whole web.
• Books - Read about successful homeschooling families and their approaches to learning. True, the authors only write about their best days and most creative ideas. After all, what family is perfect? But even if you only manage maybe one really great project a week from these books, you're doing great!
• The Library - The children's librarian is your friend. Cultivate and nurture that relationship. She'll be your best resource for years to come. Ask her to watch for new books and publications with ideas of things you can do with your kids.

e. I couldn't possibly do this!

The challenges some homeschooling families face are incredible, yet still their children learn and thrive. Within these family exists the "Love Factor" that serves to make these families more cohesive, more capable than they were before they decided to homeschool. A hyperactive, climbing-the-walls boy kept at home will lose his "bad boy" image and calm down. That rebellious, bored teenager, now able to get some respect at home finds the path to becoming a productive and creative adult person right before your eyes. Single moms with livelihood issues, create family businesses, with the help of the kids, that keep them solvent and content. Disabled parents wind up raising compassionate youngsters who might wind up in medical or social services occupations. Critical relatives become more accepting as they participate in activities with your children and see the results of your efforts.

Kids don't need geniuses or a team with teaching certificates. They need resourceful parents who will help them find the answers to their questions, who are willing to spend the bulk of each and every day with them, who will drive them to enrichment activities or over to their friends' houses, who don't obsess about test scores. They need parents who believe in them, who are confident enough to let them find their own destiny and help them be all they can be.

Many Muslims Turn to Home Schooling

Like dozens of other Pakistani-American girls here, Hajra Bibi stopped attending the local public school when she reached puberty, and began studying at home.

Her family wanted her to clean and cook for her male relatives, and had also worried that other American children would mock both her Muslim religion and her traditional clothes.

“Some men don’t like it when you wear American clothes — they don’t think it is a good thing for girls,” said Miss Bibi, 17, now studying at the 12th-grade level in this agricultural center some 70 miles east of San Francisco. “You have to be respectable.”

Across the United States, Muslims who find that a public school education clashes with their religious or cultural traditions have turned to home schooling. That choice is intended partly as a way to build a solid Muslim identity away from the prejudices that their children, boys and girls alike, can face in schoolyards. But in some cases, as in Ms. Bibi’s, the intent is also to isolate their adolescent and teenage daughters from the corrupting influences that they see in much of American life.

About 40 percent of the Pakistani and other Southeast Asian girls of high school age who are enrolled in the district here are home-schooled, though broader statistics on the number of Muslim children being home-schooled, and how well they do academically, are elusive. Even estimates on the number of all American children being taught at home swing broadly, from one million to two million.

No matter what the faith, parents who make the choice are often inspired by a belief that public schools are havens for social ills like drugs and that they can do better with their children at home.

“I don’t want the behavior,” said Aya Ismael, a Muslim mother home-schooling four children near San Jose. “Little girls are walking around dressing like hoochies, cursing and swearing and showing disrespect toward their elders. In Islam we believe in respect and dignity and honor.”

Still, the subject of home schooling is a contentious one in various Muslim communities, with opponents arguing that Muslim children are better off staying in the system and, if need be, fighting for their rights.

Robina Asghar, a Muslim who does social work in Stockton, Calif., says the fact that her son was repeatedly branded a “terrorist” in school hallways sharpened his interest in civil rights and inspired a dream to become a lawyer. He now attends a Catholic high school.

“My son had a hard time in school, but every time something happened it was a learning moment for him,” Mrs. Asghar said. “He learned how to cope. A lot of people were discriminated against in this country, but the only thing that brings change is education.”

Many parents, however, would rather their children learn in a less difficult environment, and opt to keep them home.

Hina Khan-Mukhtar decided to tutor her three sons at home and to send them to a small Muslim school cooperative established by some 15 Bay Area families for subjects like Arabic, science and carpentry. She made up her mind after visiting her oldest son’s prospective public school kindergarten, where each pupil had assembled a scrapbook titled “Why I Like Pigs.” Mrs. Khan-Mukhtar read with dismay what the children had written about the delicious taste of pork, barred by Islam. “I remembered at that age how important it was to fit in,” she said.

Many Muslim parents contacted for this article were reluctant to talk, saying Muslim home-schoolers were often portrayed as religious extremists. That view is partly fueled by the fact that Adam Gadahn, an American-born spokesman for Al Qaeda, was home-schooled in rural California.

“There is a tendency to make home-schoolers look like antisocial fanatics who don’t want their kids in the system,” said Nabila Hanson, who argues that most home-schoolers, like herself, make an extra effort to find their children opportunities for sports, music or field trips with other people.

Lodi’s Muslims also attracted unwanted national attention when one local man, Hamid Hayat, was sentenced last year to 24 years in prison on a terrorism conviction that his relatives say was largely due to a fabricated confession. (Had he been more Americanized, they say, he would have known to ask for a lawyer as soon as the F.B.I. appeared.)

Parents who home-school tend to be converts, Mrs. Khan-Mukhtar said. Immigrant parents she has encountered generally oppose the idea, seeing educational opportunities in America as a main reason for coming.

The Bully-Free Classroom

Say the word bully to anyone you know, and the stories will start pouring out — about the fourth-grade bully who regularly tripped kids, the second-grade bully who made girls cry, the sixth-grade bully who lay in wait for kids who were walking home from school. If bullying is, as some people claim, a normal, natural part of childhood, why do our memories of bullying incidents remain so vivid — and so universally painful?

We now know that bullying is not normal, natural, or acceptable. Young victims get hurt, both emotionally and physically. Young bullies can grow up to be abusive adults. And it's not just the victims and bullies who are affected; people around them are distracted, intimidated, and upset. Bullying in the classroom prevents students from learning and teachers from teaching.

While the victims of bullying need to learn skills to avoid such treatment, the bullies also need to be taught better ways of relating to others. This is where you can help. By making a commitment to prevention and intervention, you will be helping to build a positive environment where everyone feels safe, accepted, and valued. It's not enough to stop the bullying that is already happening; we also need to keep students who aren't yet bullies or victims from starting down that road.

The following pages give you some strategies and steps to help prevent bullying and to intervene once it occurs.

Expose the Myths

Before you can solve or prevent a problem, it helps to define it. There are many myths about bullying. The "True or False Checklist" on page 44 will expose some of the myths and start students thinking about what bullying is and how it affects everyone.

Read each myth statement aloud and encourage students to discuss each one. You might introduce these concepts into the discussion:

• Bullying takes at least two people: bully and victim.
• Bullies like to feel strong and superior.
• Bullies enjoy having power over others.
• Bullies use their power to hurt other people.

Then read the answer to each myth statement. How did students' ideas compare with the answers given? Discuss and analyze the differences. To emphasize the importance of the information, you might make copies of the answers to give to older students after the discussion.

Take the time to agree on a class definition of what constitutes bullying. Your definition might use different words but should include these basic ideas: Bullying is

• When a stronger, more powerful person hurts or frightens a smaller or weaker person deliberately and repeatedly.

Building Conflict-Resolution Skills

Conflict between people is normal and inevitable, and not all conflict is harmful or bad. The difference between destructive and constructive conflict consists in how we choose to manage it. Destructive conflict damages relationships, creates bad feelings, and leads to future problems. But constructive conflict helps us to learn, grow, and change for the better. We become more open-minded, tolerant, and accepting. We see things from other perspectives.

Everyone benefits from learning and practicing conflict-resolution skills. Bullies discover the real power of solving problems without using force or intimidation. Victims are empowered to seek solutions instead of giving up and giving in. Your classroom becomes a place where people are willing to work together to achieve a positive outcome.

Research has shown that conflict-resolution programs work. If you don't yet have access to one in your school, here's a basic approach you can teach your students now: List the "8 Steps to Conflict Resolution" (below) on the chalkboard, or on a chart for permanent display. Discuss each step with students, and reinforce the ideas with practice, role-plays, skits, and more. But remember that conflict resolution isn't learned or taught in a day. You might want to reproduce these "8 Steps" for students to keep in their notebooks as a reminder.

8 Steps to Conflict Resolution

1. Cool down. Don't try to resolve a conflict when you are angry (or the other person is angry). Take a time-out, or agree to meet again in 24 hours.
2. Describe the conflict. Each person should tell about what happened in his or her own words. No put-downs allowed! Important: Although each person may have a different view of the conflict and use different words to describe it, neither account is "right" or "wrong."
3. Describe what caused the conflict. What specific events led up to the conflict? What happened first? Next? Did the conflict start out as a minor disagreement or difference of opinion? What happened to turn it into a conflict? Important: Don't label the conflict either person's "fault."
4. Describe the feelings raised by the conflict. Again, each person should use his or her own words. Honesty is important. No blaming allowed!
5. Listen carefully and respectfully while the other person is talking. Try to understand his or her point of view. Don't interrupt. It might help to "reflect" the other person's perceptions and feelings by repeating them. Examples: "You didn't like it when I called you a name." "Your feelings are hurt." "You thought you should have first choice about what game to play at recess." "You're sad because you felt left out."
6. Brainstorm solutions to the conflict. Be creative. Affirm each other's ideas. Be open to new ideas. Make a list of brainstormed ideas so participants will remember them all; then choose one solution to try. Be willing to negotiate and compromise. Follow the three basic rules of brainstorming:
• Participants come up with as many ideas as they can.
• All ideas are okay.
• Nobody makes fun of anyone's ideas.Try your solution. See how it works. Give it your best efforts. Be patient.
7. If one solution doesn't get results, try another. Keep trying. Brainstorm more solutions if you need to.

If you can't resolve the conflict no matter how hard you try, agree to disagree — sometimes that's the best you can do. Also realize that the conflict doesn't have to end your relationship. People can get along even when they disagree.

True or False Checklist

1. Bullying is just teasing.
   False. While many bullies tease, others use violence, intimidation, and other hostile tactics. Sometimes teasing can be fun; bullying always hurts.
2. Some people deserve to be bullied.
   False. No one ever deserves to be bullied. No one "asks for it." Most bullies tease people who are "different" in some way. Being different is not a reason to be bullied.
3. Only boys are bullies.
   False. Most bullies are boys, but girls can also be bullies.
4. People who complain about bullies are babies.
   False. People who complain about bullies are standing up for their right not to be bullied. They're more grown-up than bullies are.
5. Bullying is a normal part of growing up.
   False. If you think bullying is normal, you're less likely to say or do anything about it. Getting teased, picked on, pushed around, threatened, harassed, insulted, hurt, or abused is not normal.
6. Bullies will go away if you ignore them.
   True & False. Some bullies may go away. But others will get angry and keep bullying until they get a reaction.
7. All bullies have low self-esteem. That's why they pick on other people.False. Some bullies have high self-esteem. They feel good about themselves, and picking on other people makes them feel even better. Most of the time, bullying isn't about high or low self-esteem. It's about having power over other people.
8. It's tattling to tell an adult when you're being bullied.
   False. It's smart to tell an adult who can help you do something about bullying. It's also smart to tell an adult if you see someone else being bullied.
9. The best way to deal with a bully is by fighting or trying to get even.
   False. If you fight with a bully, someone might get hurt. Plus, you might get into trouble for fighting. If you try to get even, you're acting the same way as the bully. And the bully might come after you again to get even with you. Either way only makes things worse.
10. People who are bullied might hurt for a while, but they'll get over it.
    True & False. It really depends on the person and how severe or prolonged the bullying is. But bullying can hurt for a long time. Many adults can remember all too well when they were bullied as children.

9 Techniques for Building Solid Parent-Teacher Relationships

I believe wholeheartedly that a child’s academic success is greatly enhanced when teachers and parents are partners in the process. When I need information pertaining to a child or a child is experiencing a problem, I contact the parents or guardians because they are my #1 resource. Throughout the school year I use a variety of communication methods to build and sustain solid relationships with parents. These are nine of my tried-and-proven techniques:

1. Use Registration Time to Build a Foundation
   I begin the school year by meeting some of my parents during registration, before school begins. This is the first time I meet my students and their parents/guardians. Since first impressions are lasting impressions, I make sure my classroom is warm and welcoming.
   In addition to the paperwork and fees related to registering, parents receive their child’s schedule and visit their classes. This is my chance to meet the parents and get email addresses and phone numbers. To the students, I issue the agenda books and — most thrilling for them — their lockers and combinations.
   
   I love watching the students excitedly practicing their locks with their parents. It's one of many new experiences that 6th graders and their parents will go through this year. I use the locker practice as an opportunity to discuss the feelings of excitement, nervousness, and frustration students can expect to have in middle school. I also take this time to reassure parents — who may be feeling similar emotions they felt when they first dropped their child off at kindergarten. Just as students will master their locks in no time, they'll adapt to and master life in 6th grade.
   
   
2. Create Detailed Student Information Sheets
   On the first day of class, I send home student information sheets that ask for basic information: name of students and parents, address, numbers for home, work place, email addresses if applicable. A copy of the student’s schedule is on the front of this form also, so if I ever need to locate that student during the school day, I can immediately see where he or she is and whom I need to contact.
   
   On the back of the information sheet is a contact log where I keep a running list of dates on which I've contacted parents or vice versa. I always document contact with parents by writing date, time, and short summary of what was discussed. This documentation is very important to have, because when you have over 90 students it is easy to forget what was discussed with one parent versus another. It may sound time consuming to document each contact, but the information will prove to be extremely helpful at a parent conference. I have all of my student information sheets alphabetized in a three ring binder separated by periods, and it is located in the file cabinet by my phone (easy access).
   
   
3. Send Out Parent Surveys
   Two to three weeks after school starts, I send a parent survey home. The survey asks questions such as:
   -What was your child like as a baby?
   -What are your child’s strengths and weaknesses?
   -What does your child do in his spare time?
   
   This information helps me get to know each student as a person and learner. It's also useful when planning lessons. Even though parents are just as busy as teachers, they eagerly take the time to write as much information about their child as they can. One parent wrote a note to me on her child’s survey saying, “This is wonderful that you want to learn more about my child.” Seeking the advice of parents shows respect and helps gain and sustain their support. The students also get a kick out of reading what their parents wrote about them.
   
   
4. Make Open House a Special Event
   During Open House my school does a number of things to greet parents and make them feel at home. This year our PTO provided grilled hotdogs and drinks for parents and families before Open House actually started. One of my colleagues provided chocolate chip cookies and milk for her parents. Free food is always a winner! Parents are also encouraged to join the PTO and SIC which is fabulous for establishing and building a positive parent and school relationship.
   
   When parents enter my classroom, I present a simple PowerPoint. All you need is a computer and projector. I create slides on:
   Who I am (tidbits about myself-family, education, experience, etc.)
   Important phone number with extension, e-mail address, homework hotline number, and school’s Web site Procedure for my class (Get Started, Today We Will…, Homework)
   An explanation of what will be taught throughout school year (writing and reading objectives) Rules/Regulations
   Expectations
   
   
5. Contact Them With Good News Regularly
   I make commendation calls or emails regularly — and every year I set a goal to do them more often. So much time is devoted to students who are not doing what they are suppose to that students who perform well do not receive adequate praise. Parents are so pleased and sometimes shocked when you call and say, “It is such a pleasure to have Brian in my classroom.” I attempt to make these calls weekly during a planning period or after school; three to five per week. I found that scheduling the calls in my planner, means I am more likely do them — and more likely to make a difference in parent’s and student’s day.
   
   
6. Plan a Writing Night
   Besides the common methods of communicating with parents, I plan a Writing Night each semester as a fun way to share my curriculum and give parents a peek into our classroom. Choose an evening (after work for parents) for your event. An hour or even 45 minutes will probably be plenty of time to have some fun with this.
   - Send invitations (for parents and students) via your newsletter, special send-homes, emails or your Web site. Provide snacks, everyone loves to eat.
   - Set discussion ideas: different types of writing the students work on throughout the year: narrative, expository, descriptive, and persuasive, Six-Trait model, etc. View and discuss strong and weak examples of papers (do not use students’ papers from that school year).
   - Explain how you conduct writing conferences. Offer suggestions on how parents can encourage their child to write.
   - Have an interactive activity for parents and students to complete together. For example, you could have the parent and student analyze the strengths and weaknesses in a piece of writing and how would they correct it. Take questions.
   
   
7. Utilize Technology Whenever Possible
   Parents and teachers both are extremely busy, so I use technology to stay in touch (emails, Web page, homework hotline, and our parent portal that allows them to access student grades via a computer). Of course, not all parents have access to technology, so I provide the same information in different written formats.
   - Creating a Web Site: It doesn’t have to be fancy. I have a basic Web site that includes the following: important numbers; email address short biography of myself and picture; overall explanation of what will be taught; importance of notebook and agenda homework policy; grading system; tutoring after school; supply list; expectations/goals; suggestions for reinforcing student learning in language arts and reading; pictures; and helpful Web sites.
   
   Some of my fellow teachers include a lot more information on their Web sites and update them daily. I do not have time to change my site every day so I keep it simple but meaningful — do what works for you.
   
   - Publishing a Pamphlet: If you're not able to manage a Web site, you can always use the traditional newsletter or pamphlet created with Microsoft Publisher. Distribute this version to parents during Open House.
   
   - Sending Emails: I email homework/project assignment for a particular week on the Friday before. To make it easy, I create an address book for each class period, so I am really only sending one email out per period.
   
   - Connecting to a Parent Portal: This year, my school is testing a program that will allow parents to access their child's grade via an online portal. Parents have to have an email address in order to access system. Once signed in, they can see their child’s progress, and recognize problem areas.
   
   
8. Establish an Open Door Policy
   Sixth grade parents are sometimes hesitant to volunteer in their child’s classrooms, because middle school is much different than elementary school. In order to stay in touch with parents, I look for other ways to get them to stop by. For example, they are welcome to come in and observe me teaching. Another technique I use the Top Reader's Party. Every nine weeks I award my top readers with a pizza party or cupcake party and I extend an invitation to parents, acknowledging that they have helped with their child’s reading success.
   
   
9. Intervene Via Parent Conferences
   I enjoy conferencing with my parents because it's the main way I communicate with parents. When planning conferences, I try to be as flexible as possible since some parents can only meet in the mornings or after school.
   
   As part of my team's weekly meetings, we discuss goals for students’ progress (academic and behavior) and decide which students we will initiate parent conferences for. Usually all of the student’s teachers meet with the guardian/parent(s) during a conference. This can be intimidating for some parents, so I begin the conference by thanking and welcoming the parents. I always start a conference by saying something positive about the student. Every child has strengths that are worthy of being recognized. Then we proceed with the conference giving each teacher and parent an opportunity to voice concerns. I attempt to keep conferences on a positive note by reflecting on the statement, "It is not what you say, it is how you say it.” I am a parent, and I know how I want to be treated.